Cod People – A scene

February 1, 2014 § Leave a comment

INT. BAIT SHOP – NIGHT

Our hero JOHNNY (25) and heroine ELAINE (24) run into a BAIT SHOP. They are out of breath.

Dust covers the counters and products in the store.

ELAINE

Boy, Johnny, it sure is lucky that you work here at the bait shop and have a key. I didn’t think we would ever get away from those weirdos.

JOHNNY

It sure is Elaine. I’m not sure what’s going on but all of our friends seem to be going crazy!

Sounds of groaning and beating against the walls outside can be heard.

ELAINE

It’s like that movie with the Pod People, except everyone smells like fish.

JOHNNY

You know, you’re right. That must be why I’ve been craving fish tacos so much lately. Strange that none of the places around here would serve them to me.

ELAINE

Do you think it might have something to do with the stories we heard about the river and the… “experiments?”

JOHNNY

My God, Elaine.

Johnny pauses and Elaine looks at him.

JOHNNY

They’re COD PEOPLE!

ELAINE

Cod people?

JOHNNY

They look like our friends, but in reality they’ve been replaced by fish!

ELAINE

But, if they’re Cod People–

Elaine looks around the shop.

ELAINE (CON’T)

–this is the place they’d come to! We’re surrounded by lures and worms!

Johnny walks off and hops behind the counter. He reappears holding a fishing net and rod.

JOHNNY

But, we have all of the tools to fight them off.

Johnny and Elaine arm themselves in preparation to fight their fishy friends. Nets, hats, lures, worms, and rods go flying about. They make eye contact after suiting up.

JOHNNY

You know Elaine, those wading boots really do you good.

Elaine throws down her pole and throws herself into Johnny’s arms. They lean in for a kiss, but the growing noise outside stops them short.

JOHNNY

Sorry, Elaine. Tenderness will have to wait. We’ve got bigger fish to fry.

ELAINE

But those are our friends out there, Johnny. I don’t think I can hurt them.

Johnny smiles slyly.

JOHNNY

Don’t worry, Elaine. I always catch and release.

 

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What’s Wrong with Screenwriting?

November 15, 2013 § Leave a comment

I recently read Writing Movies for Fun and Profit: How We Made a Billion Dollars at the Box Office and You Can, Too! by Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant, a gift from my dad for my birthday last year (almost an entire year ago, shows how much time I’ve had). In it, the two give insider information about how to get into the screenwriting business and make money. But they do so through the humor they’re known for (Reno 911, Night at the Museum).

[Note: I’m not trying to promote the book, unless they want to cut me a deal; I just wanted to show off how cool and interesting I am that I read books and I’m learning about new things.]

Maybe I’m a little impressionable, but I’m thinking screenwriting would be a cool job. Not that this is a new thing. I’ve always been interested in making movies and whatnot. I had a friend up recently over the Halloween week, who graduated from UO last year and is now in L.A. working on movie sets trying to get his way into the business as a writer. It’d be pretty cool to partner up with him and write some scripts. I’m just saying, if you see a new movie come out in the next ten years from Collins and Perry, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Of course, writing for a TV show would be pretty sweet, too, probably an animated show because that’d be more fun.

I’m too busy to work on any scripts right now, but I’m thinking next term and spring term I’m going to actually try my pen at writing some. Again, just warning you.

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